Micro$oft and Restaurants
as retold by Adrian SQ

If restaurants functioned like Microsoft:

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Patron: I tried again. It's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: I tried the fork. It's still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A soup bowl.

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day.

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?

Waiter: Yes. The Soup of the Day changes every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I'm running late now.

(Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check)

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes. The tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

(Waiter leaves)

Patron: Waiter, there's a gnat in my soup!

The check:

Soup of the Day.......................$5.00

Upgrade to new version................$2.50

Access to support waiter..............$10.00