Judgement of Valiance
as retold by Rotua L. Tobing
A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter
is leafing through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of
Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow,
and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did anything
really good in your life but, you never did anything bad either. Tell
you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in
your life, you're in."
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Yeah, there was this one time
when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a giant group of KKK
Biker Gang Rapists assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to
see what was going on, and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of
'em torturing this young lady. Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed
a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked straight up to the leader of
the gang, a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain
running from his nose to his ear.
As I walked up to the leader, the KKK Biker Gang Rapists formed a
circle around me. So, I ripped the leader's chain off his face and
smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turn around and
yell to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone!
You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach
you all a lesson in pain!'
St. Peter, impressed, says "Really? When did this happen?"
"Oh, about ten minutes ago."